Radical honesty = to state your feelings bluntly, directly and in a way typically considered impolite. Honesty can be scary and for this truth, I am scared. However, it is my personal belief that one should only be allowed to lead by living a transparent, honest and authentic life.
Jonathan Merritt is a good man with great intentions. Jonathan pushes for a society which seeks to understand the “other.” He encourages conversation and relationship building over arguments and division. I agree with his approach and I know he is being genuine in this approach. I feel though what has led Jonathan to this thoughtful and effective approach is his hope for a future where people like me and him, gay people, are no longer excluded but included in every aspect of society.
He rides the fence because of the strong anti-gay stance his religious community continues to take. He is brave by daring to push the envelope a bit but not enough to give himself away.
Exposing this truth of Jonathan’s sexual orientation is not an easy decision for me. I take no pleasure in doing this. As I type this my stomach is turning because I know of the backlash he will receive. I have thought about what all of this will mean for him and for me. I base my reasoning in the importance of living an authentic and honest life.
True change in the “culture wars” may come through genuine fellowship and conversations but if there is not complete honesty and transparency when we come to the table than we are simply building a foundation which will soon deteriorate.
We must have radical honesty in the character, intentions and identities of our leaders. I truly hope for the day when leaders of the LGBT community and leaders from the anti-LGBT community can come to the table with no secrets or agendas but simply to know one another. As Howard Thurman said, “Contact without genuine fellowship breeds hatred.”
May we begin that genuine fellowship with complete transparency of who we are so that our foundation is solid.
(The nature and history of my relationship with Jonathan will not be disclosed. However, if evidence is required to back my claim it can be provided).
UPDATE: My response is the same to everyone... Transparency is required of anyone who chooses to lead discussions on a large public platform. In order for those discussions to be successful and effective the identities of the leaders must be made known especially when those identities effect how the conversation is constructed.
UPDATE II: I strongly condemn all mean-spirited and hateful comments against Jonathan. This is a time of reflection and dialogue, not hateful speech.
UPDATE: My response is the same to everyone... Transparency is required of anyone who chooses to lead discussions on a large public platform. In order for those discussions to be successful and effective the identities of the leaders must be made known especially when those identities effect how the conversation is constructed.
UPDATE II: I strongly condemn all mean-spirited and hateful comments against Jonathan. This is a time of reflection and dialogue, not hateful speech.
Are you really outing him? That's not your right to do, and it's appalling to me that you would do something like that.
ReplyDeleteYes, it his "right" when he is outing someone who's views and writings, cause harm to those who are most like himself....Jonathan Merritt is being divisive, disingenuous, and hypocritical, and therefor has no credibility in his support of an organization that DETESTS him...
DeleteNot a single thing you've cited justifies outing a dude.
DeleteWhat the hell is wrong with the both of you?
If you want to act like being gay is wrong, expect to be outed if you are gay. It's no different than man who claims to be honest being exposed as a thief. In the end, a liar is a liar.
DeleteIf you place yourself in the public eye, you're 'personal' life is fair game. If you place yourself in the public eye and are harming a group of people while being part of that group, you're a hypocrite AND fair game.
DeleteOuting him is absolutely fair and right and ethical. Deal with it.
I think fairness should be the standard here. If a gay person wants to support an anti-gay cause or public figure, or if a gay person wants to fight equal rights for all while simultaneously socially benefiting from others not knowing said person is gay, then it is only fair they he/she be outed. Whiney gays who disagree should run along, really. This rule applies all this in the public domain, if you want to preach against pornography and you are addicted to buying prostitutes, then you should be outed. If you are publicly supporting anti-gay companies and you are gay, then you are trying to pull a Ted Haggard and that shit just doesn't fly. This is the real world, you cant play two side of one fence as a public figure. Its only fair, and fairness is the standard.
DeleteThank you Azariah for following your heart on this one.
Geoff said "If you place yourself in the public eye, you're 'personal' life is fair game."
DeleteNo. Absolutely not. Everyone has the right to participate in public life, and everyone has the right to choose what part of their lives should be so public. If someone lies or misrepresents themselves, by all means correct the record. Otherwise, we should leave the personal out of it.
And "fair game" is a disgusting term of phrase to use. Let us not hunt people we disagree with, it's savagery.
When one dedicates their life to screwing up the lives and the happiness of others, that person is not entitled to any respect, special treatment or protection.
DeleteAnd if that person is entitled to do so under the guise of freedom of speech, than the gay community has every right to use freedom of speech to counteract the words and actions of those who seek to destroy us because of their own self-hatred and the disgust that they feel for themselves.
What is sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander.
And putting it in terms that Merritt, a "man of God" might be more familiar with...
As Ye Sow, So Shall Ye Reap.
You should read the book more. It also says things like "You shall not curse the deaf nor place a stumbling block before the blind".
DeleteNuts to our 'eye for an eye' dishonest logic. It isn't justified because he's a public figure - it's not justified because he's said things for or against homosexuality.
It's not justified. And this isn't a matter of one person's opinion being worth more than another. In the scales of right and wrong, this is plainly wrong.
Human, I have read your "book" and it's pretty disgusting. It is nothing more than a piece of hate literature and people like you are cafeteria Christians who pick and choose whatever floats your boat and makes your case for bigotry, hatred and discrimination of people you do not like.
DeleteI read the book plenty for the first twenty years of my life. It says that I should be put to death. I'm done with that book and have read many more since. If you live a public life and draw a salary from groups that seek to marginalize gay people, don't expect to be able to live exactly the kind of life your friends and family are demonizing.
DeleteAs an ex-Hasidic Jew who has been outed in the religious community, I can say -- outing a religious person is one of the most F'd up things you can do to that person. Equivalent to murder (because he's now "dead to" many of his family and friends) or theft of one's life savings (because some of his lifetime relationships are now gone as a result of this article). I sincerely hope this extreme action is justified..
Delete"As an ex-Hasidic Jew who has been outed in the religious community, I can say -- outing a religious person is one of the most F'd up things you can do to that person."
DeleteOh, whine me a river, Y-Love!
It's a well-known fact that the Hasidic views about homosexuality are as vehemently against it as is the RC Church. Religious people enacted DADT, DOMA, banned same-sex marriage in a number of states and voted yes on Prop8, among other hateful actions directed at the LGBT community. That's not f'd up?
"Equivalent to murder (because he's now "dead to" many of his family and friends)"
Sorry, your metaphor does not equate to the thousands of LGBT people who have been murdered or the huge number of bullied, LGBT children who have been driven to suicide. They are, in fact, very "dead" to their family and friends. You, on the other hand, are still alive. Perhaps, as a religious person, you could show a little more empathy for the pain of others?
"or theft of one's life savings (because some of his lifetime relationships are now gone as a result of this article)."
You've lost me on that one.
But if you want to talk finances, how about LBGT couples having to pay more income taxes on their earnings because they cannot file a combined IRS return?
How about long-term couples having to pay inheritance taxes on the house that they shared when one of the spouses passes away?
How about the some 1050 federal tax benefits that str8 couples receive but which are denied to same-sex-couples because of discriminatory laws that allow marriage only to certain members of our society and not to others?
I could list many more example, but I am sure you get my point.
"I sincerely hope this extreme action is justified."
Yep. I think it is. And, it is not nearly as extreme as some of the other topics that I touched on.;
The book, idiot. Not 'my' book.
DeleteYou're a villain. One hiding behind the cruelties of the Christian right in hopes of being every bit as vile and ignorant as they are. And justifying every cruelty by perverting what it means to be a victim.
I am hard Left. I am staunchly secular. And I'm revolted that you're considered my ally.
Authenticity is a choice you can only make for yourself. Forcing someone into this decision is at best a desperate ploy for attention and at worst hateful. You've complained over the years of people forcing their beliefs on you, how is it possible that you now choose to do the same? That feeling you have in your stomach is probably being sick at your own actions. I don't know Jonathan, but I know an attention seeker when I see one.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet here we are, with police whose entire job is to maintain public order by seeking the truth, and society hasn't fallen into ruin. Go figure. What's next? A court system and free press?
DeleteSo, here I was, assuming that society would have moved past outing a person in hopes of dismissing or belittling their stances on any given subject.
ReplyDeleteThis is evil.
No degree of justification can undo that.
Fairness is justification enough. If you want to be a public figure and live a double life, sorry Ted Haggard, but fairness is the justification. Try again Human.
DeleteNo, Human. The evil is when one uses the public pulpit to write things that hurt other people, namely members of the LGBT community and then feels outraged when a member of that community calls them on their hypocrisy.
DeleteNo, Chuck, one evil doesn't go away because of the existence of another evil.
DeleteThis horrible action isn't justified under any circumstance. It's dishonest to imply otherwise.
I'm afraid that your interpretation of "evil" is suspect. Speaking up for human rights and equal treatment under the law, is not evil. Lying about a minority, debasing and degrading them and spending millions to make sure that they never get their civil-rights is what is evil.
DeleteIf you are a gay person, and the comments that you have been posting make me sincerely question your gayness, then you can only be a self-hating person who believes that he/she is not worthy of respect and fair treatment under the laws of our country.
Chuck - you are as bad as the extreme right. "you are either with me or against me." the world is not black or white. people like you scare me.
DeleteI fear that your fear is misdirected.
DeleteIt's folks like Chick-fil-a and Jonathan Merritt, who defended their actions, that you should reallyu be scared of.
They are the ones who contributed 5 million dollars to hate organization who dedicated to the concept of taking your rights away and making sure that you remain a closet, second-class citizen. Not I.
Stay focused.
No, I'm pretty bang-on with my classification of evil. "Profoundly immoral or malevolent".
DeleteLike outing a gay man in the south United States with massive contacts to the hateful Christian Right. Who know where he lives. Works. Teaches. But hey, it's great that he's suffering for being gay. Right?
After all, being gay is evil, right?
After all, being gay should be punished, right?
Make no mistake. My application of the word 'evil' is bang on. And every person who has said as such to you here was also absolutely correct.
Is this really a surprise?
ReplyDeleteEvangelicals are sooooooooooo gay.
What's your 'evidence'? Did you have sex with him? Is there video?
ReplyDeleteWho needs pictures when the other guy confirms it? (http://www.edstetzer.com/2012/07/jonathan-merritt-shares-his-st.html)
DeleteRead Merritt's response on Edstetzer.com - puts most of the comments here to shame. Merritt sounds like my kind of man.
DeleteOk. A little more transparency seems to be in order here.
DeleteFirst of all, Ed Stetzer's site is named The Lifeway Research Blog, which is clearly a Christian site. So it is only natural that Ed will see things filtered through the prism of Christianity. And we all know that prisms can produce profound distortions.
"Jonathan's views have been clear--he considers homosexual practice as sin and is not in favor of redefining marriage (about half of America agrees, btw). Such views make you a target today, regardless of your personal situation."
Ok. We are now clear about the fact that Ed Stetzer is not a friend of Dorothy. We of the LGBT community can expect little in the way of understanding, let alone, compassion from Mr. Stetzer. Obviously he is part of the "half of America" that believes that homosexuality is a sin and is not in favor of "redefining" marriages.
In his interview, Jonathan sez..."My story begins at a very young age when an older male who lived in our neighborhood sexually abused me. The experience was followed with a tidal wave of shame and guilt so great that I never told anyone for many years."
Now, who could have been the cause of all that shame and guilt that he carried for many years? Now, that's a toughie. Let me stop and think here for a moment....
Them Jonathan said, "I decided to follow Jesus at 13 and quickly realized that this event and the confusion that followed was not my fault. God had allowed an experience of brokenness into my life even if I didn't fully understand it."
Gee, I got sexually "abused" at the age of 14 by an older woman, even though I already knew that I was gay. It was kind of fun, actually. Have I been carrying around brokenness all of these years and totally unaware of it? Maybe I can figure out a way in which I can make some money off my "brokenness". Say what?
"I don't identify as "gay" because I believe there can be a difference between what one experiences and the life that God offers." Merritt continued.
Of course not, dear heart. You have been lying to yourself all of these years about your true feelings and sexual orientation. No wonder you are still "stumbling" and "struggling". And until you give-up all that religious guilt, guess what your life is going to be like? Pure hell.
"I'm a cracked vessel held together only by God's power. And I'm more sure each day that only Christ can make broken people whole." he added.
Victim. Victim. Victim. Jonathan, you have me cracking-up here. Brokenness, cracked vessels, broken people...wow! Are you some kind of potter or something...
Or are you just potted?
In light of your "complete transparency" statement, why not reveal your evidence? I'm not saying to post a video but state what it is that you say is evidence of Merritt's "secret".
ReplyDeleteI CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR OUTING THIS SCURRILOUS CARBON-BASED LIFE FORM! HYPOCRISY OF THIS KIND DESERVES NOUGHT BUT THE BACK OF OUR HAND!!!!!
ReplyDeleteuh.. hate speech much?
Deleteok not even one you is making any sense. farewell skinny jeaned, baby teed weirdos.
DeleteWhat is this? Is it your reaction to Merritt's anti-boycott stance?
ReplyDeleteIf so, what is your position on that issue? Should social conscious people patronize Chic-Fi-A, or not, in your opinion?
Without knowing what your motive might be, I can't even begin to make sense of your action here.
Azariah, I just noticed your about page, "About Azariah," is written in the third person, and I'm assuming you wrote it. My dad didn't beat me, so I just hate the sound of my own name, which isn't quite as gruesome but kind of similar so I think I get where you're coming from, but all my childhood friends whose dads beaten them, all of them, started talking about themselves in the third person. Once you start it's pretty hard to shake. You should do whatever you need to do to fix a few things about your about page. But otherwise it was a pretty moving story, so thank you.
DeleteOne word comes to mind after reading this. Douchebag!!!!!!!!!!! You have absolutly zero right to out someone. You are a pathetice waist of a sperm and egg!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHere you are acting as if being gay is shameful. He outed him as a liar. And by the way, it's "waste."
DeleteHow do you figure I think that? Gay is not shamefull. But outing someone is. I don't care what the motivation is. Coming Out is a personal journey every Gay person takes and is theirs to take and none of anyone elses business. I have had friends outted in my life that have ended badly. So I will always champion for those who choose to come out when and wherever they choose.
Deleteok as a 52 yr old gay man who's been OUT since 80...let me just say - Normally Im not for outing..UNLESS, that person is Working too/or with others that want to TAKE away RIGHTS from the LGBT community..if thats happening then - all bets are off - OUT THE MF'r!
Delete@rex. as someone older and out longer than you, the problem I see is that the "LGBT community" considers anything it currently prioritizes as a RIGHT. They do not recognize principled dissent or opposition, only H8ful bigotry, etc. So to disagree with the Official Party Line without being cast as a homophobic MF'r, to use your charming language, is virtually impossible.
DeleteThey have become the very image of the "right wing fundamentalists" they abhor.
Being gay, hiding that fact, and supporting homophobes is shmaeful
DeleteSorry William, your comment failed. Gay Law provides that if you are publicly fighting against gay rights and are gay, you can be outed. Run along cyber-bully.
DeleteYou object to the word "kapo", but the fact still remains that by protecting the bigots, the discriminators and the haters, you are an enabler.
DeleteWilliam, heterosexuals have no problem with coming out. In fact, a good many of them choose to club us over the head with their 'straightness" and their sexuality, if you get my drift.
DeleteSo, why should we feel so ashamed to come out with our gayness...unless we have allowed the heterosexuals, the bigots, the haters and the homophobes to brainwash us into thinking that we should feel guilty about our sexuality and remain in the closet?
That's some lazy justification of an evil and spiteful action, masquerading as social consciousness. "I'm gay and nothing bad is happening to me so I'll out people who make me feel bad because nothing bad will happen to them".
DeleteHorseshit.
And denigrating homosexuals and denying them of their Constitutional rights is not evil and spiteful?
DeleteWho fucking cares? You are not justified just because your enemy is evil and spiteful.
DeleteYou're content being on the same level as your enemy. Which is fine, if you have no fucking standards.
Please confine your fucking to the printed page, I sure don't want any part of it.
DeleteWhat made MY stomach churn was reading your self-righteous and self-serving post.
ReplyDeleteI have been out since before you were born. And I know what it's like to be outed, too.
You had no right to do that.
It's people like you who have, over time, made me distance myself more and more from the "LGBT community". My erotic nature is just fine with me, more than fine. But the priggish dogmatism (sic) and invulnerable victimism of "the community" is too much to take.
I hope some day you have the grace to be ashamed of yourself.
He had EVERY right to do it, KAPO!!!!
DeleteAzariah can't take the post down, because he can't see past the plank in his own eye. Good post, Jess.
DeleteKAPO!!!!
DeleteThis is the invulnerable victimism I was talking about. Comparing a national debate about samesex marriage with a Nazi concentration camp shows an utter deafness to reality and no sense of proportion, either historical or ethical. And it is an insult to actual human suffering.
Taking this hysterical view of one's impregnable moral status as eternal victim allows LGBTQs to indulge in the kind of ruthless personal invective and damage that the now-agnostic author of this blog inflicted on someone, for the crime of not being "authentic and transparent" enough.
Maybe LGBTQ should just be shortened to DQ.
Distancing yourself from any community is purely your choice - if you are too good for everyone else in your own identity community, its because there is something righteous about you, not Azariah. This is a touchy subject, yes - but there is no right answer, there is only a choice and this person made his choice. Sorry, hypocrisy might be ok in some peoples consciences but lying is actually immoral any way you look at it. You might can justify public figures who are gay and fight gay rights, fine - thats your choice, no one is making you distance yourself or choosing anything for you. Stop blaming others.
Delete@ USMale SF
DeleteYou wrote: "You had no right to do that."
And the self-hating gays have no right to inflict collateral damage on the LGBT community by every means they can find.
Either you are straight person who hates the LGBt community or, you are just another self-hating gay person who is trying to win points with the enemy.
In either event, you are NOT doing anything to help the movement. So why don't you just step out of the way and let the rest of us get on with what it is that we have to do so that you won't be re-criminalized by the haters and cast behind that electric fence that the good minister up in North Carolina wants to build and put all the LGBT people behind to starve to death?
Deal?
Fuck you, you self-servicing sellout.
DeleteOops...your true Christian love is showing! LOL
DeleteI completely agree that it was not Azariah's place nor right to "out" anyone. It doesn't matter your self-serving reasons or anything else. You may have just forced him further into the closet than he ever was, doing irreparable harm. I hope you can live with yourself if that happens.
DeleteI'm not a Christian! I don't need to be a Christian, or straight, or right-wing, or anti-gay to stand against your poorly thought-out position.
DeleteBut hey, LOL, am I right?
You'd turn away half of the planet because they can barely handle man-woman relationships, and can't process same-sex ones. You're an idiot.
I haven't been contributing in awhile because I thought all would pass on - like the Chick issue.
DeleteCould we PLEASE stop making generalizations and attacking each other personally. The basic issue is not gay or straight. The issue is whether we...a diverse nation in every way...have evolved to the point where we can respect one another in our diversity. Yes, I am a Catholic Christian - reflecting on the deeds of past and present religious leaders probably an object of hate and repulsion for many. But I renounce many stances of the INSTITUTIONAL religion. so, am I to be hated and rejected as a gay Catholic ? The issue at point is - are we - regardless of individual orientations going to stand for the rights of every person to love who they desire, marry who they desire - be happy with whomever they desire. Or do we wish to become a theocratic state in which a particular religion dictates morality and social policies. If you prefer the latter, kindly obtain a visa and reside in such a state. Once witness 4 Muslim women (in modified burkas) chastising a Christian fundamentalist at a gay Pride festival chastising him. Why ? Because he was being nasty, uncharitable towards a Catholic and Episcopal priest who were debating with him. He told them that for such actions they would be beheaded in their native lands. Their retort: "That is why we waited so long for permanent residency to live here, in the USA, where we can be freed from religious imprisonment and threat". They then, surprisingly, flipped him the bird. They understand what FREEDOM is.
Regardless of any evidence you may or may not have, it is completely inappropriate to have this conversation in this platform and "out" someone. It is not your conversation to have. I understand your desire for transparency in leadership, but in all honesty, I would guess that the majority of church leaders and those in ministries are hiding something. Their lives do not have to be plastered across the internet (especially on someone else's blog).
ReplyDeleteI am appalled by your post. As upset as it may make you, you have no right to post slander about someone else, especially as a Christian. Please respect Jonathan enough and yourself enough to pull down this post.
And I, in turn, am appalled by your post, Jess.
Delete"I would guess that the majority of church leaders and those in ministries are hiding something. Their lives do not have to be plastered across the internet (especially on someone else's blog)."
So, are you suggesting that we should have just let the child-didding Christian pervert priests continue to enjoy themselves without bringing it to anyone's attention?
Oh, and by the way. It is only slander when there is no proof of the accusation. In this instance, Merritt himself to the charge made against him.
Justifying the blanket maltreatment of the religious by pointing out some of them are pedophiles.
DeleteYeah, that's never been used against the gays. Good to know you've learned absolutely nothing from decades of anti-gay bigotry.
"Yeah, that's never been used against the gays."
DeleteOh, but it has been used against the gays. By the very Christian who were busy diddling the altar boys.
People who live in glass houses, should not throw stones
Hi Chuck,
DeleteNo, I think there is a huge difference between wrestling over your sexuality and abusing children. One deserves jail time and the other doesn't. My issue with Azariah's post is that he doesn't allow Jonathan the privilege of going through this journey of discovering himself and his sexuality out of the public's eye. I can sympathize with his desire for transparency and I can understand his frustrations with Mr. Merritt's stance on gay-rights issues. However, my heart aches for Mr. Merritt after this post has hit.
And you're right that I shouldn't have used slander without knowing the full story, but I'm sure you get the gist of what I meant by it.
Yes, that was my point, Chuck. I assumed you'd be clever enough to notice when I flat-out tell you that you're acting exactly like the Christians.
DeleteWhich is to say, you're acting as hypocrite, and a sycophant.
The bottom line is that gay people who defend homophobia are indefensible. You did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
DeleteAgreed. Merritt is an adult who spends his time smoothing the path for religious fundamentalists to damage lives, not some innocent sixteen year old wondering who he is. He knows what he's doing. Well done exposing his hypocrisy.
DeleteBottom line is that he did exactly what the gay community calls "hate". Azariah you forced your belief on someone else. How can you not see that? If you're looking for hate, go to the mirror, and look.
ReplyDeleteAzariah did the honest thing. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSo far, no response from Merritt, although judging from the most recent posts above, he has dispatched his army of flying monkeys.
Azariah, my brother, by Biblical edict we are to approach a brother in the faith who does wrong (think his being in the closet is a form of deception?) by coming to them first. You know we are held to a different standard from un-believers and this was not the way or platform to do this in. Saying that, I still love you and pray that you and Merritt find peace and forgiveness with the coming storm.
ReplyDeleteYou did, or are doing, the right thing. His kind hurts us all.
ReplyDeleteAzariah, hopefully you're not paying attention to any of the pseudo intellectuals who are all upset over this. They obviously don't understand how harmful this guy and his ilk are toward the glbt community.
How does this post alleviate the knot in your stomach? Is Jonathan a secretly gay undercover evangelical out to destroy you like you are out to destroy his credibility as an author? Does he have more of the limelight than you?
ReplyDeleteIF he is gay and not out, why not go to him first like rottenqueerchristian said? Also, how are you a role model for Christians, gay or not? This is sad, Azariah. Many of us struggle and struggled with coming out, just as you did. You knew that the TV station wouldn't support you, and yet you struggled to find the voice, going to work, day after day. But, again, you did it ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Why not let him? Maybe he isn't gay! I am sure we would have several ladies come up with the counter "proof".
"Is Jonathan a secretly gay undercover evangelical out to destroy you like you are out to destroy his credibility as an author?"
DeleteWriting dreck and vilifying a minority group does not an author make!
Show - go ahead and read Chuck's other comments on this blog post.
DeleteAnd while reading them, remember: "Writing dreck and vilifying a minority group does not an author make!"
And laugh. Trust me, it's worth it.
Lying about who you are and doing or saying things that harm people who are just like you, justifies a public outing. Larry Craig anyone?
ReplyDeleteLike Azariah did when he did his TV show? Now he is the self appointed poster child for outing others? And, the bigger question, what if he is wrong? He has damaged a fellow Christian, just what he thought he was preventing by "outing" Merritt. That's what I don't get.
DeleteI agree that outing someone is usually a horrible thing, however the question for the community is whether it is worse than allowing someone to use their position to harm others. Would we still be having this conversation if it were Ken Mehlman or Ted Haggard during the height of the Bush administration?
ReplyDeleteFor those that ask why he did not approach a brother before alerting the rest, how do you know he didn't?
If authenticity is so important to you, why do you keep evangelical in the name of your blog. you say you're agnostic on FB. or is this another of the shock value attention ploys. you're asking everyone else to be honest but yourself?
ReplyDeleteDone. Now move on.
Delete"It's a story of finding hope and love in a God he was told hated him." that feels a little inauthentic too.
DeleteThat was my authentic experience. Stop being weird. MOVE on.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyou're right, he does kind of look like jason sudeikis
DeleteI'm hoping most of these ugly comments directed at Azariah aren't from people who claim Christ as Saviour, I would be an agnostic too if I went by the words in this comment section. He threw one stone (who's perfect?) and got a tub of snakes in return. Sad.
ReplyDeleteYe have heard that it hath been said, A stone for a stone, and a snake for a snake: But I say unto you, if your school was a bible college that's probably as high as you can count. Here comes the tub. And did they teach you Latin was a Papist poison? Is that why you don't know what ad hominem means?
Deleteby that same logic I would never want to be gay based on the hateful comments in this thread.
DeleteSleep it off Imhotep.
ReplyDeleteBad Christians and bitchy fags have so much in common, so maybe you have a point. I have a suggestion indianaman, try to be cut from a different cloth.
Indianaman was obviously cut from the "warp" and not the woof. ;P
DeleteMerritt had been scheduled to deliver a sermon on Sunday at Cross Pointe Baptist, the last in a 4 part series called "Reckless". That has suddenly changed. Now he and his father, the pastor of the church, will be doing a joint "Special Heartfelt Message".
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crosspointechurch.com/news/events/page_reckless.htm
Thank you for OUTING this hypocrite!
ReplyDeleteWill Kohler
Back2Stonewall.com
I didn't know that Jonathan Merritt was Southern Baptist royalty...
ReplyDeleteit's 2012, outing isn't the death sentence it used to be and if it makes self delusional people stop hooking up and assuming that there's no risk to their hypocritical religious positions more power to them. If you're going to preach hate and brokenness, and think that there is some sort of special hand shake that will keep you guilt free then you assumed wrong.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah and if you sleep or have sex with someone they absolutely have the right to out you.
ReplyDeleteFor all the people accusing the other side of hate.. that's all I read here. hate. judgment. forcing your beliefs on someone else. sure you think you're right. but so did the people who tried to force their message on you. what the hell kind of community is it that fires on a guy that is actually helping to further dialogue on a group that is not tolerant toward your views. i read a lot of ends justifying the means. that this guy had it coming. you think Merritt is going to feel welcomed to your community by this? if Azariah is telling the truth, where does a guy like Merritt turn now?
ReplyDeleteOh please, spare us the bleeding hearts routine. Merritt is no different that the closeted Craigs, Reekers' and the Haggards of the world who are so self-hating that they spend all of their waking hours writing hate pieces, degrading LGBT people and doing everything in their power to ruin their lives.
DeleteI am sure that Emily Post will forgive us if we pick up our rifles and shoot back each and every time one of these creeps decides to take a pot shot at us or toss a hand grenade in our back yard.
And what makes you think that our community would even want the likes of someone like him? By your warped way of thinking, we should send an invitation to Fred Phelps who heads up the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas and operates an Internet Hate Site called "GodHatesFags" to come join us? Get serious.
http://www.godhatesfags.com/
Merritt has shown no regret about his attacks on the LGBt community and in fact, is still referring to us as "broken". He has not asked for forgiveness nor has he indicated that he even wants to become a productive part of our community. And even if he did, he should not expect everyone to just forget the harm he has done and the harm he will continue to cause by his remaining with and supporting the hateful Baptist that his father and he are affiliated with.
That would require some sincere atonement. The proclamation of "All is forgiven" is not a right.
It has to be earned.
Just to clarify ... and i'm not making excuses, just pointing out facts: Westboro "Baptist" Chuch is not affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention, as Merritt's church is. Westboro is an independent congregation.
DeleteWhere will Merritt turn now, Indianaman? To the Southern Baptist Convention. He's loved here. On most questions of politics and ideology I'm far more conservative than Merritt is, but I welcome him with open arms. While you guys over here have been spewing venom his way, he's received overwhelming affirmation and support from Southern Baptists who have commented on blogs and have been discussing this situation with one another in twitter messages and private emails. Merritt's no "man without a country." He has a family of faith. Unlike Azariah Southworth, Jonathan Merritt shows no signs of denying the teachings of that faith or leaving it behind. He doesn't have to look for a new home. He already has a home.
DeleteYes, I am aware of that fact bd1. That said, however, the Southern Baptist Convention is not exactly welcoming us with open arms either. This, straight from the horse's mouth, as it were.
Deletehttp://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_sbc.htm
Nor do they believe that same-sex marriage is a civil-right.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/equating-their-sin-with-my-skin-southern-baptist-convention-passes-resolution-claiming-gay-marriage-isnt-a-civil-right/
They are just not as openly mean and hostile about it as Fred Phelps is. The end result, unfortunately, is the same, however.
You were right to do what you did. When "our own" do things to harm us, it is perfectly fine to reveal them for what they are.
ReplyDeleteEven though I know very little about either this blogger, nor the person he outed, I still would like to point out that this is a mini-tragedy. The tragedy is that this Jonathan obviously liked Azaria but because of one or both of them buying into a social structure that abhores such things, that they couldn't form a relationship. Life is too short not to enjoy people's company, especially people who hit it off and have chemistry. The whole point of the 5 decades of struggle we gay men and women have fought for is so that two guys or girls can hit it off in a coffee shop, fall in love, and buy matching overalls or poodles! So I think this is just sad. :(
ReplyDeleteNicholas, the very same thoughts were bouncing around inside my head as well. I am really glad that you shared this with us. You said it far better than I could have. And like you, I feel sad for both parties. They would have made a cute couple.
ReplyDeleteIf only you'd made out with Mitt Romney, darling. Pity.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe argument regarding whether or not Jonathan Merritt's public activity constitutes justification for outing him presumes that his public activity is a crime and that the outing may be a fit or unfit punishment.
ReplyDeleteMerritt's public activity isn't a crime, it's a weakness. Outing him isn't a punishment, it's a strengthening, not only for his sake but for the sake of everyone that he has harmed or has failed to protect by his weakness. When we are uncertain of the value of an action's consequences, we can find certainty in the principle that the truth always works for the good.
The notion that "coming out" is a sacred personal prerogative is a consequence of our community's history of persecution and isolation; it is an entitlement to a lack of accountability that was proper in a world unwise and unfit to hold us to account. Now, in limited ways, we no longer live in such a world, and as we emerge from the darkness into which had been cast, we not only leave behind shame and loneliness for pride and love, but also leave behind independence and license for interdependence and the responsibility of solidarity.
I am sorry that he was raised in an environment so hurtful to his own well being that he has hurt others in the process to hide the truth about his lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteI hope he finds peace with himself, being gay is not wrong, and if he believes in god, then he should accept that god made him gay. Gay is not a choice.
I am a happily married straight woman, with a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Maybe this can be the beginning of a new life of acceptance for himself. He deserves to be happy, maybe this is what he needed to help him.
I can't imagine the pain Merritt is in, but I hope enough will see him as what he is- a wounded soul- and accept him and remind him that there is a major difference in wounded and "broken". I hope that he will stop contorting himself like a sideshow act for the benefit of people who are NEVER going to accept him unless he lies to them, who he would not want to impress or be like anyway if it weren't for his childhood, and whose hypocrisies he has been an up close and personal witness to his entire life.
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase a famous quote, "Happiness cannot come until your thoughts, your words, and your deeds are in harmony." Rather than judge the merits (no pun intended) of his outing, I accept it as an accomplished fact and hope he will make the most of it. But, for now he's Neo, seeing with his own eyes for the first time, and I really hope Azariah reaches out to him outside of the public part of his life, or that otherwise he has a good guide who lets him know that he doesn't have to go to Exodus and he doesn't have to get a drag act an set of nipple piercings in order to be happy, but just be who he is (which he's never been before).
The absolute best of wishes to Jonathan Merritt.
I do not feel there is any reason to "out" a person. Each of us has traveled a very painful path in becoming aware of/accepting ourselves. It is not a split second decision. We all have had times of expressing our gay attraction as we have become aware of it. Mine occurred 4 years ago and it was my conscious decision not to live a lie after I was able to accept and love myself. Thus, I "outed"myself first to my wife of 39 years...only to find out she had known for all our married life...I was truly not aware of what had been a cloud over my happiness. Then to my children, again two knew and accepted lovingly (daughters), whilst my son assaulted me seriously and rejected me. Since that time I have experienced pain/rejection/exclusion...all very predictable but no less painful. Now separated and partnered to a good man...I am happy and others have commented on it. BUT IT WAS MY DECISION. For Jonathan, my heart goes out to him. Perhaps he truly believed what he proposed in his writings but had not been tested. Azariah's exposure of whatever occurred is a breach of privacy and as a gay man, knowing the devastation that would have occurred, makes him untrustworthy. He is not in the position to judge Matthew, nor was it vital for the OUTING to occur except to put focus on himself as some sort of crusader. His actions are despicable but forgivable by Matthew. Any future friends or partners should be forewarned of his lack of compassion and inability to be trusted. Perhaps Azariah even planned to tempt Matthew and entrap him. Who knows.
ReplyDeleteDave, thanks for sharing your story. I disagree that there's some 'code of privacy' among gay men...although, and not to be condescending, there might be somewhat of a generational divide on this issue.
DeleteWhatever physical contact occurred between JM and AS was consensual by every account. The experience belongs to both of them, not just the party that wants to make an eternal secret of it. Further, when JM chose to publish an article directly related to LGBT issues, basically defending business owners with anti-gay agendas, i think he put himself front and center to have his motives scrutinized. This is just a hunch, but i'd imagine that during your 39 years "in the closet" so to speak, you weren't running around the country lecturing people about sin and morality, or publishing articles in defense of anti-gay businesses.
I don't think 'outing' is always justified, but in this case it seems it was bound to occur eventually. Who knows - just maybe, deep down, Merritt was asking for it.
"nor was it vital for the OUTING to occur except to put focus on himself as some sort of crusader. His actions are despicable but forgivable by Matthew. Any future friends or partners should be forewarned of his lack of compassion and inability to be trusted. Perhaps Azariah even planned to tempt Matthew and entrap him. Who knows."
DeleteWow! That is the most smug, pompous, self-righteous response to this thread I have yet read. Without a shred of evidence as to what actually occurred between these two men, you have rendered your judgement against Azariah and take it upon yourself to cast even further aspersion on the motives of a man whom you do not even know anything about.
By your own admission, for 39 years you hid in the closet, deceived and lied to your wife and your children and more than likely, cheated with other men on the side as well while you tested the waters of homosexuality and pretended to be straight. You left a trail of emotional devastation and destruction behind you by wrecking your wife's life and stole her happiness from by your dishonesty and lack of integrity and here you are wagging your finger at the author of this blog and questioning his lack of compassion and inability to be trusted. Where was your own "trustworthiness", I ask?
Physician, heal thyself!
I am not given to quoting the bible, since I believe it too is lacking in honesty and integrity, but this verse sure seems to fit.
Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.
Chuck...had you read my post carefully...I was not closeted nor conscious of my gay orientation. When I did finally comprehend what was wrong in my life...I outed myself to wife and family. Was never unfaithful to her. We had a very happy family and married life...we were happy...you are throwing boulders in accusing me of lying to her which I never did. Not all gay men are conscious from an early age as to their full sexual nature. And NO I NEVER CHEATED on her with other men. Azariah made a conscious decision to out Matthew by his own admission and to what end ? You have condemned me without personally as a liar - which I was not. I don't expect you to understand nor do I take your words to heart as you are convinced my married life was a ruse and accuse me of adultery without any basis. That says much about you as a person.
DeleteDave, I don't know who this Matthew you keep making reference to is.
DeleteThis thread is about Jonathan Merritt, the author who was outed and Azariah Southworth, the creator of this blog. I assume you are referring to the former whom you feel, as do some others on this blog, that he got a rotten deal. On that topic, I am certain that we can go round and round until the proverbial cows come home. You have your views and I have mine, so further debate on that issue is pointless.
I know that you will this hard to believe, but I was not attacking you personally in my comments. I was merely trying to point out to you how condemning Azariah, considering your mistakes and failures in your own relationship decisions makes you look judgmental in the eyes of others.
Chuck....
DeleteSomehow "Matthew" got stuck in my head. Thanks for the reply...but your words were rather harsh. More importantly...your assumptions concerning how i carried myself after coming out...claiming I had lived a lie, been unfaithful, etc. were unnecessary and untrue. But they have been said...you have clarified them...so let's drop it. Personally, they had no effect on who I am or how I feel. As to how people may perceive me...I really stopped caring many years ago.I am not one to allow someone's opinion of me prevent me from being who I am. If we had met in the real world, these misunderstandings would never have occurred and quite frankly, we probably would have been off to a good friendship. There are few persons I have gotten to know in whom there is not something likeable and who have not mutually befriended. I hold no ill feelings towards you but as you said we have differing opinions...thank God we all differ. A BLOG is a site for offering them...personal confrontations/comments have no place. Be that as it may...have a good weekend....Namaste.
I'll more bluntly point out that you're a pseudo-intellectual who makes far too many assumptions about people without considering or caring about the consequences.
DeleteYou're a dick, Chuck. And the problem.
We can agree to disagree on the issue and perhaps there is a generational gap. Be that as it may..the meeting of the two men was not a publicity stunt and I do believe what happens in private should remain so...unless both parties agree that it should be made public. As to my being closeted - I was not. To be closeted one must be fully aware of one's homosexuality - I was not. There was an attraction more on a spiritual level, as I was always desirous of a close personal relationship with another man, akin to that which women have always been allowed as confidantes. The straight friendship of men - handshakes, back or butt slaps, etc. - being one of the boys I found very dissatisfying an shallow. As a younger man you benefit from older men who have risked exposure and rejection so that today, coming out for most youth is less traumatic - though bigotry still takes its toll. Perhaps my standing up and speaking out when any racial, ethnic, or orientation slurs/jokes were made caused me to be "suspect" but i have always believed in kindness, compassion and being non-judgmental. Granted Matthew was/is a poster man for being gay yet rejecting gay life - he crossed the line when this encounter occurred. Had he continued in his association with Evangelicals in condemning gay orientation and lived a gay man's life, then he forfeited all expectations of privacy.
ReplyDelete"We can agree to disagree on the issue and perhaps there is a generational gap."
ReplyDeleteSorry to disappoint you, but I am not a wet behind the ears twinkie. I was born in 1936 so that would make me 75, going on 76. You stated that you were married for 39 years and came out 4 years ago. I have no idea when you married, but even if we assume that you married very young, say age 20, that would still put you at least eligible to draw social security age or more, so we are not that far apart in age.
The "gap" that exists in our perception and thinking would more accurately be attributed to the fact that I have been out, proud and sexually and politically active since the age of 15 (although I knew that I was attracted to other males by the age of 6) whereas you have only been out for four years and missed many of the homosexual events and happenings that I experience during my lifetime. Ergo, it would be perfectly understandable that my perception of gay life would be vastly different than your perception of gay life might be.
Under normal circumstances, I would be in total agreement with you that whatever happens between two men in private, should remain private. I am not a "chatty cathy" or "kiss and tell" sort of man.
That said, however, it would disingenuous to suggest that this liaison was a normal circumstance. In fact, it was anything but. Merritt, the man you refer to as Matthew was an adult Evangelical writer who posed as a straight man and often wrote less than supportive or complimentary articles about the gay community. The following link will give you a much more comprehensive understanding of Merritt's hypocrisy than I would care to bore you with in this writing.
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2012/07/27297/
When gay men, who know that they are gay but choose to remain closeted find it necessary to decry, demean, attack and scourge the LGBT community because they cannot or will not come to terms with their own repressed sexuality and in order to draw attention away from the qualities they see in themselves that they cannot abide, then they must accept the fact that they are at the very least hypocrites and at the worst liars who are perfectly willing to shoot themselves in the foot to prove their alleged "straightness".
Men like Craig, Reekers, Haggard and Merritt are perfect examples. The the heartache, the human suffering and the collateral damage that men like this perpetrate on the LGBT community is inestimable...and unforgivable. Giving people like this a free pass simply enables them to continue on with the hard that they are doing, using whatever excuse, explanation or banner that they wrap themselves in to justify their words and actions.
When a person deliberate chooses to be dishonest with him/herself and sets out on a course of inflicting as much damage as possible on those who serve as a constant reminder of their own repressed sexuality, all bets are off and that person loses all rights to personal privacy. The victims of such such bigotry, hatred and anti-homosexual words and actions have every right to expose these people for the hypocrites and charlatans that they are.
They deserve no privacy, no kindness no compassion for they have done nothing to earn it. None of the aforementioned hypocrites have offered an apology. Even when exposed for what they are, they still will not support equality for the LGBT community and have no interest in becoming part of the community they have been willfully and brutally attacking for so long. Merritt will go back to the Baptist Church that his father presides over and the brainwashing that filled him with the guilt and shame that "overwhelms" him now, as the "prodigal son", crawling on his belly and begging for forgiveness and acceptance by the very people who fucked-up his life.
it will be interesting to see what young Merritt learned from his experience, if anything.
Concerning "generational gap", I was replying to a writer who used this term for ME...his title was "bd.....", not you Chuck. Having clarified that and read your blog above from last night after our "interchange", I fully agree with your statement above. I was under the impression that "Jonathan" was a gay man...known as such to his Evangelical group, but as some gay persons do, condemn LIVING FULLY as a gay man...that is, celibacy...but had a encounter with Azariah, which was sexual during what Jonathan might call "weakness". Unlike Azariah, I probably would have confronted him with his hypocrisy and asked how HE was going to deal with the matter before going public. I agree closeted men who just "need" a man from time to time and then condemn us do not deserve privacy.
DeleteHi Dave. Thank you for both of your replies. My apologies if my words sounded harsh or offensive. They were not meant to be. I am a man who "shoots from the hip" as the old adage goes and I can see where my desire to be forthright and honest could be taken as being harsh. Be assured that I hold no ill feeling towards you either.
ReplyDeleteI fully concur with you that meeting someone on a blog is vastly different than meeting someone in person. The former has a distant and sort of un-related feeling as opposed to meeting someone in person where there is an exchange of persona in addition to the exchange of words. Mere words have a tendency to come across sounding quite differently in meaning when delivered without benefit of body language, facial expressions, etc. I suspect that many of us who spend any amount of time on the Internet, have been guilty at one time or another, of saying something behind the anonymity of a computer screen that one would never say directly to another persons face. Had we met in person, I am certain that our exchange of dialogue would have been far less confrontational. ;P
I don't know if I mentioned it to you or not, but I am a regular reader and blogger on JoeMyGod.com, hosted by Joe Jervis who owns the site. Many of us who regularly read his blog and enjoy his editorials go there because Joe is a sort of "whistle blower" who calls people on their hypocrisy and bullshit. Especially the stuff that is perpetrated in the name of God and religion. I just read this latest update to the Merritt saga which I thought you might find interesting. Here is the link to it.
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/07/send-prayergram-to-outed-and-already-ex.html
I trust that you and yours are enjoying a pleasant and relaxing weekend.
First, explain why now?
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't seem like a relationship that just happened.
Merritt isn't out there making headlines or doing anything especially more outlandish or heinous than he's been doing for years.
So why now?
Then, explain to me how this will help. When young LGBT look at his writing they at least can say, "Well, he's a heterosexual" -- but NOW all his hateful writing comes from someone who is just like them. And do you really think that he's going to stop being so full of self-loathing because now everyone knows?
No, being outed is just like coming out on your own in that sense. You're still the same person -- which means if you hated the fact that you were gay and preached all kinds of anti-gay sentiments because of your deep personal self-loathing.... you still will.
Coming out was hard enough for most of us who did it on our own. It's going to be a LOT more painful and LOT more difficult for Merritt because it wasn't his choice -- you took away that personal journey and that personal choice.
At the end of the day, it seems to me that all you've accomplished is that you've made another human being's life more painful. I do hope you're proud.
"First, explain why now:"
DeleteWhy not now? And when would you suggest is a good time?
"Merritt isn't out there making headlines."
Oh, but he has. Here is a link to the books and the number of articles he has written for various magazines that are, for the most part, disingenuous and anti-gay.
http://www.relevantnetwork.com/user/8737
"Then explain to me how this will help."
it will help those who are struggling with their own sexuality to see how being dishonest with one's self and being in denial about your true sexuality can severely damage your emotional life, hinder your development as a human being and prevent creating and having a happy, satisfy life and a fulfilling relationship with another human being.
"you took away that personal journey and that personal choice."
Yes. In the very same manner that the anti-gay bigots and haters take away our personal journey and the personal choice to live our lives as warm, loving human beings who have no problem with expressing our sexuality and feeling no guilt over it. Because Jonathan Merritt has chosen to make a martyr of himself and deny his true sexuality as well as forbidding himself to become involved in a healthy, supportive relationship with another male, he wants, just like so many other members of the religious Reich, for everyone one elses life to be bereft of joy and happiness. No doubt, you've heard the old expression...misery loves company.
" I do hope you're proud."
There is nothing to be proud about in either camp. As Nicolas so aptly pointed out in his comment above, this is a mini-tragedy and we both agree that this is just sad.
Lest anyone forget, it is not we, the LGBT community who started this "culture war", which is really a misnomer. In reality, it is a hate-war and should be honestly stated as such. The ball has always been in their court. And if there is truly any desire on their behalf to see a world that is filled with understanding, compassion, warmth, brotherhood and love of fellow man, all they have to do is drop the sword and call off the battle.
I am not holding my breath as I wait for that to happen, however. Nor, should any self-respecting LGBT person be expected to to hold their breath either.
"Why not now? And when would you suggest is a good time?"
DeleteNever.
You forget that he's a self-loathing gay man because he is surrounded by people who hate gay men. There is never a good time to purposefully place a gay person in the middle of people who hate gay people. That's what this does.
I'm very aware of his "canon of work". It's very standard Christian right BS, you can find virtually the same schlop from any number of other writers across the Internet. He is not particularly special or influential, and he is not doing anything new or outlandish to make him somehow more deserving of being the target of this kind of attack? Why not "out" him when this relationship happened? There is a reason, there is a motive behind the timing. And whether you choose to acknowledge it or not that is important. No matter what, outing someone is wrong. But outing someone "for the good the LGBT community" when they're not being any more harmful now than they were when you got the knowledge of their sexuality -- that doesn't strike you as selfishly attention-seeking? I'd just like to know that that's not the reason.
You, Chuck, will not be able to provide that answer because you're not the one who outed him. I'd love to hear an answer from Azariah though. Why now?
Ignoring the fact that he will still blog, no doubt. And now his blog will now undoubtedly be the perspective of a gay man who hates himself and believes, truly believes that God hates him and he will be going to hell unless he can change. That couldn't possibly be at all damaging to impressionable LGBT teens who might stumble upon it, nooooo.
The fact is, outing him will just make him hate gay people -- and himself -- more. How is that helpful?
I was able to come out of my own accord. I was able to build a support network for myself when I did. I was also blessed enough to have a family who decided to support me.
He doesn't have that. Whatever your feelings about him are, the fact is he is a human being who has just been forced into an incredibly psychologically dangerous and unhealthy situation. He is not less than human because he is a homophobe.
And, if you're going to act as though he is to blame for all of the injustices of the LGBT community -- which you are basically doing in your comment -- you HAVE to consider if this will fix it or if this is just being vengeful. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, after all. And so again I ask: how will this fix the situation for the LGBT communication? At all? One voice discredited? One man made even angrier at us?
You're right, there is nothing to be proud of when we decide not to treat others with the dignity and respect we seek for ourselves. We want to be ourselves and live our lives how we choose? Then we HAVE to respect other people's right to do that. And that means letting people come out, or not, on their own.
In the immortal words of Werner Erhard, the founder of EST and The Forum, "Everyone is exactly where they need to be"
DeleteChuck,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your candor and now that the fur on our backs has settled I believe we understand each other. We both came out of the starting post a bit irritated while in truth we are of similar mind. I have had many other gay men accuse me of living a lie, when in all sincerity I was unaware of my gay nature...perhaps I was bisexual...but that is just a label...at this point in time I am only attracted to men. I had "feelings" which I did not understand fully as a youth and adult. When they became more understandable...and acceptable...I opened to my wife with "I think I am bi or gay"...to which she responded " Is this supposed to be news...I've known since the day we married...you have always been a loving, kind, faithful husband/father". For the next two years I became well known in the gay community...respected for not kicking my wife to the curb...was faithful...not in hiding...openly speaking out and living openly...because of my marital vows I was celibate as far as men were concerned. My son rejected me...fractured my skull...I was dismissed from a Catholic deacon program in the 5th year - 1 year shy of ordination. I was gradually excluded edged out of family life as he would not be present at any gatherings where I was. I had no problem being there..he did...all family members told him he was wrong...my wife was in the middle...I chose to live separately for the sake of my 14 yr old daughter as living at home became unbearable. Not seeking sympathy but just explaining that this was very painful. My wife and I both suffered but it is as it is.
I have read some of Jonathan's writings and quite frankly, his views are far from Christian. Fundamentalists love to parrot Scripture but have little understanding. Exegesis requires putting oneself at the time and culture of the people...contextural interpretation...keeping in mind that the English translations are three languages removed from the original. Further, the four gospels never show Christ even mentioning homosexuality. In fact, the word the Roman centurion uses to request healing for his beloved servant...in the original Greek is "pais" which at the implied a love relationship - man to man - older to younger - acceptable in Roman times. Yet Christ fully aware of this said nothing but only commented on the centurion's faith. Doubtful Christ was not aware of the relationship. Forgive if I carry on, but my Faith is important to me - I despise use of it by anyone to condemn anyone. If the fundamentalists would LIVE and not verbalize their Faith, there would be no condemnation- just love of one another as Jesus did.
I will check out the site. FYI: my e-mail address is...
I am a believer that people meet, have contact for a reason - if only to exchange ideas. We never stop learning nor evolving. Namaste
This is not about outing a guy... Its about calling out his hypocrisy!
ReplyDeleteI understand that some might consider this a "low blow", haven't his comments about the LGBT community been just as bad? Especially since he is in fact a gay man? That is a freaking slap in the face. I feel that if you are going to have such a strong, outspoken public opinion against MY personal life and all the while you are living that same lifestyle secretly, then I have EVERY right to call you on it.
Except that his words haven't put you in actual danger. Now, however, all of the homophobic anti-gay people in his life are fully aware of his sexuality. We KNOW that, no matter how Christian they are, that kind of hatred towards LGBT people can be quite violent.
DeleteOr have we all forgotten that time when a pastor ordered a congregation to physically assault his own gay son for daring to show up at church?
http://www.wbbjtv.com/news/local/Assault-Complaints-Filed-after-Incident-at-Church-130746713.html
Remember that?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_LGBT_people
Deletehttp://salcbloggers.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/when-will-we-recognise-that-hate-speech-against-the-lgbt-community-is-not-ok/
http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/reader-diaries/2011/09/21/limits-free-speech-5
http://stophate.us/hcpa.html
http://unfinishedlivesblog.com/tag/tennessee/
http://www.civilrights.org/publications/hatecrimes/lgbt.html
So much concern for the haters.
So little concern for the victims of the haters.
No, Chuck, I have plenty of concern for the victims. Don't go pretending you know me, I have seen hate crimes happen and I have watched police do jack shit about them. I'm not sitting here saying "Oh, it's okay when people hate us". I'm sitting here saying it's NOT okay for us to hurt other people.
DeleteThe thing is, I recognize that THIS does not help. THIS may make YOU feel better, but in the end it hurts Jonathan Merritt and does NOTHING to heal the victim, it does NOTHING to further our cause. He does not have the widespread influence to change a damn thing for us. Honestly, has this accomplished anything? Does anyone feel better? Has the Christian right suddenly said, "Oh my goodness, he's gay?! Then they must be okay!"
No. All that's happened is one, single human being lost control over their own life. One single became the target of the pent-up rage of the LGBT community. No one was helped. Nothing has changed.
I don't feel having compassion for EVERYONE is a bad thing, ever. And I certainly don't see where lowering ourselves to their standards and morals could ever be considered good.
"I don't feel having compassion for EVERYONE is a bad thing, ever. And I certainly don't see where lowering ourselves to their standards and morals could ever be considered good. "
DeleteTell that to the families, loved one and friends of the millions of people who have been brutally murdered over the course of history by despots and despoilers of life and limb.
Calling out and condemning those evil people is not lowering one's self to their standards and morals.
It's telling it like it is and calling for an end to such senseless brutality toward humankind. If you cannot discern the difference, then you are just an enabler who makes it possible for the continuation of crimes against humanity under the disingenuous guide of being a "Good" person.
I don't understand the purpose of this post. Were you hopeful that his church would turn on him? That he would become an outcast of the Southern Baptist community? That he would be bullied by people of the LGBT community? Only the latter seems to have worked.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to share some of the things I have heard from Jonathan as a member of the same church. I've listened to Jonathan preach, and I think it's important for you all to know his message is consistently focused on loving one another. He has gone out of his way to condemn Southern Baptist churches and their members for judging others based on their lifestyle choices. He has pushed this topic in church to the point that I often wondered if he was gay. He speaks so passionately on caring for all people (specifically the LGBT community) that it felt like he might be preaching from that side. It didn't change my opinion of him in any way, but it did make me wonder.
I'll admit that I haven't read his books, and I've only ready a few of his articles. I can't imagine that they are so vastly different from what he preaches.
In response to the commenter's, if you have never been abused, please don't insult those of us who have by acting like you fully understand the damage it can cause. You don't. And it will impact each and every person differently. If you have been abused, how can you not understand that? No one is qualified to say whether or not abuse did or did not impact this situation.
Finally, I thought all of you throwing stones at Jonathan should know how he has been treated this past week. This Sunday he shared his story on stage with his father. He specifically shared that he was not blaming this relationship on his abuse, only that it was part of his story. And I'm thankful that he got that off his chest. I think this simply provided an outlet for him to go ahead and put it all on the table. I'm sure that's a huge relief to him as it was to me. Hopefully he'll find some closure on that pain. He provided details of this relationship in full transparency. After finishing, our Southern Baptist church gave him a standing ovation and gave him their support. We gathered at the stage after service, hugged him, and told him that we love him. We did not turn our backs on him, and we will not turn our backs on him. We love him exactly how he is whether gay or straight.
I'm sorrowful that others have not felt the same love from a church. For those of you who are in Georgia, I welcome you to visit our church. We do not throw stones, we do not judge, and we do not condemn. I wish all churches, especially Southern Baptist ones, acted the same. And if you get the chance to hear Jonathan preach on loving others and not judging them, maybe you would change your minds. I know it's tough to believe, but not all Christians are evil, hateful people.
" I know it's tough to believe, but not all Christians are evil, hateful people."
DeleteThen how do you explain article R. in CrossPoint Church's "Statement of Faith"?
From: http://crosspointchurch.squarespace.com/what-we-believe/
R. BELIEFS ON MARRIAGE/HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR/SAME-SEX UNIONS. The Holy Scriptures teach that Christian marriage is a sacred and Biblical institution established by God as clearly described in the Holy Scriptures for the happiness of mankind and the propagation of the race. It is a spiritual and physical union into which one man and one woman may enter for the glory of God and, according to the scriptural ideal, is to be broken only by death. According to the Scriptures, we believe as part of the created order, marriage is not open to reinterpretation. The scriptural and historic definition of marriage is a heterosexual monogamy - a union of one man and one woman.
Scripture teaches that heterosexuality is God’s revealed will for humankind and that a chaste and faithful expression of this orientation (whether in singleness or marriage) is the ideal to which God calls all people. Scripture declares that a homosexual orientation is a result of the fall of humanity into a sinful condition that pervades every person. Scripture teaches that there is hope for the person with a homosexual orientation and that Jesus Christ offers a healing alternative in which the power of sin is broken and the person is freed to know and experience his or her true identity in Christ and in the fellowship of his Church. Scripture teaches that this freedom is attained through a process which includes recognizing homosexual behavior as sin, renouncing the practice of homosexual behavior, rediscovering healthy, non-erotic friendships with people of the same sex, embracing a moral sexual lifestyle, and in the age to come, rising from the dead with a new body free from every sinful impulse.
Based on the teachings of the Holy Scriptures, the recognition of ‘gay marriage or ‘same-sex marriage/unions’ is public endorsement of homosexual behavior. According to the Scriptures, rather than promoting the common good, that recognition of ‘gay marriage’ or ‘same-sex marriage/unions’ promotes emotionally and physically unhealthy behavior. Scripture teaches that counterfeiting marriage devalues the family and the unique role of men and women in their children’s lives.
This Church recognizes that marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. Accordingly, this Church, its Pastors, staff and members will not participate in same sex unions or same sex marriages, nor shall its property or resources be used for such purposes.
The Bible teaches that legitimate sexual relations are exercised solely within marriage. Hence, this Church opposes all forms of sexual immorality [fornication], including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography.
Chuck, Christianity has a wide wide wide variety of interpretations of the Bible. If you're not aware of that, you really need to pipe down until you're actually educated on the topic. ONE interpretation of the Scripture is that it condemns homosexuality.
DeleteI could outline other interpretations which are garnering growing support, but I'm not sure how much room there are in these comments. Instead, I'll point you towards this video (it's an hour long, yes, but you obviously need to watch it): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY&feature=share
Graham, you are entirely right. I do not know you. Therefore I have no way of knowing what is in your mind and heart except by the words you post here. I am, of course, delighted to hear that you do have concern for the victims. And, for a moment, you did manage to capture my ear. Until, that is, you uttered the following comment which was dripping with condescention and judgment.
Delete"Chuck, Christianity has a wide wide wide variety of interpretations of the Bible. If you're not aware of that, you really need to pipe down until you're actually educated on the topic. ONE interpretation of the Scripture is that it condemns homosexuality."
Here's the thing. I could respect you as a person whose views I might just happen to disagree with, if you arrived at your views through the provable evidence of science, logic and the use of your brain. However, I do need a sermon from someone who uses the bible, which I do not accept as the word of God, incidentally, which an awful lot of Christians, and it appears that you fit in that group, who use it as a means to clobber people of different opinions over the head and pistol-whip them into believing the tripe that it contains. I've read it, so I know of what I speak.
That's when I lose my respect or the desire to debate issues because people like you are always right and will never allow anyone to disprove you, because open, honest debate is not even possible under such one-sided rules of debate. Your comment was pure judgment. It does not inspire me to attempt open and honest debate with you.
As to the video which you suggested I "obviously need to watch" (the condescending portion of your comment), and which I did not watch in total, I agree with many of things that Matthew Vine has to say. He's on the right track, just the wrong caboose. Where Mr. Vine and I part company, however, is his "interpretation" of the bible to make his point, which is also what far too many folks in the religious community spend far too much time doing. Interpreting.
Interpreting phrases that condemn homosexuality.
Interpreting phrases that instruct fathers to murder their children.
Interpreting phrases that call for the stoning of women.
Interpreting phrases that call for the murder of adulterers.
Interpreting phrases that call for the killing of non-believers.
And on and on and on.....infinitum.
Sorry. You either buy the bullshit hook line and sinker like far too may Christians do, be a cafeteria Christian who only recites those parts of the bible that uphold their bigotry, hate and homophobia or choose to reject the whole enchilada for the hypocritical hate literature that it is. I refuse to live my life by the morality of others and their interpretations of a moldy oldie that was more than likely written by a bunch of whack-jobs who were probably smoking too much pot or whatever the drug du-jour was.
"Chuck, Christianity has a wide wide wide variety of interpretations of the Bible."
DeleteAnd here is a Christian man who has yet another interpretation of the bible...and who also got caught with his pants down as they all seem to manage to do. As the old expression goes, "a stiff p***k has no conscience."
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/08/megachurch-pastor-jack-schaap-fired.html
One by one, the Christian hypocrites are falling like dominos. And as they fall and folks see the bigotry, hatred and the hypocrisy, the Christianity that is now on display for all to see, the church is losing the battle that they they have been waging on humanity.
Praise the Lord!
Chuck, I'm not attempting to make you believe the Bible and those aren't even the words I typed so.... I'm not really sure what you're reading.
DeleteI told you that there's multiple interpretations of the Bible and then I showed you one as proof that it exists because you don't seem to be aware that there's Christians who support the LGBT community. I was trying to help you with the research, because as an educated person you know that you should research things before you make outlandish statements about them.
I happen to be a Christian, yes. Not just because I interpret the Bible in a way that does not condemn my homosexuality but also because of science, logic, and reason. You may want to try the logic and the reason, you seem to have left by the wayside somewhere.
My point is, you cannot condemn all Christians. If you, you make them right for condemning all homosexuals. After all, there are plenty of homosexuals you can look at and say "Well, we don't want to give equal rights to serial killers/rapists/pedophiles/etc." Because those things DO exist in among LGBT people. Of course, they do also exist outside the LGBT community.
But bigots and homophobes exist outside the Christian community.
So it's kind of the same, only the things they see in us when they stereotype us in their hateful bigoted way are things that *are* illegal and what we see in them when we do the same thing are things are just stupid and ignorant.
Do you see why it's bad to make that kind of generalizing okay?
Oh, for your research, Chuck -- when I say they see gay people as serial killers I'm referring to this:
Deletehttp://www.adherents.com/misc/hsk.html
That's a list of LGBT serial killers. It looks like a lot, although I'm sure a list of heterosexual serial killers would be much longer (admittedly, I couldn't find one). Doesn't really matter -- that's what bigots see when they look at us.
Don't make that okay.
"Finally, I thought all of you throwing stones at Jonathan should know how he has been treated this past week. This Sunday he shared his story on stage with his father."
ReplyDeleteThat's a touchin' good story.
Does Johathan and the sheeple of CrossPoint Church know about this little gem?
From: http://azariahspeaks.blogspot.com/2012/07/jonathan-merritt-come-out-become-clean.html
"I Thought I Had Seen it All....Then I Saw James Merritt, former SBC President, Pushing a Pyramid Scheme from His Church Platform"
""God does value people, and God does value souls, and so does Paul Orberson (founder of FHTMC), and so do I...but my prayer is, that we would all honor Jesus Christ in this business. And we would help others find hope, provide for their families, and enjoy the American way of doing business while we're in the process....and by the grace of God and with His help, may God use us in this business to bring hope to other hurting people and to bring glory to the One who made it all." James Merritt on FHTMC"
Nice folks that you hang with, nwil.
I think that I will pass on your "Y'all common down, ya heah" invite, thank you very mich.
I said that we will not judge you, not that we do not believe in the Bible. Yes, the biblical stance on homosexuality/gay marriage posted on our website is as it's stated in the bible. I don't blame you for not liking it. I don't like it either, but it has nothing to do with how we treat one another. My point is that we support, love and encourage one another. We do not judge one another.
DeleteYou linked back to Azariah's post about Jonathan being gay. If your question is do we know about that "little gem", yes. As I stated, he shared his entire story at church last week.
I'm not aware of Dr. Merritt and a pyramid scheme, and how does that relate at all to this conversation? I'm sure he's made a plenty of mistakes in the past. I said that not all Christians are hateful and evil. I did not claim that we're perfect.
Damn!
DeleteChristians suffer either from Stockholm Syndrome or masochism...or perhaps a combination of both. Not only do they need a pair of boots to lick and an authority figure to submit and be servile for, they also need to be mentally tortured and abused, 24/7, to feel loved and wanted by their God/Master.
How a person who is totally aware of his homosexuality, which is a sin according to the Church, can live with his guilt and shame... and be happy, is a mystery too deep for me to comprehend. That one is totally willing to trade-off the reality of having a life of joy and happiness, in exchange for a lifetime of self-inflicted suffering just to get a set of improbable imaginary keys to the kingdom which is based in non-reality, is just mind-boggling.
"I said that we will not judge you, not that we do not believe in the Bible. Yes, the biblical stance on homosexuality/gay marriage posted on our website is as it's stated in the bible. I don't blame you for not liking it. I don't like it either, but it has nothing to do with how we treat one another. My point is that we support, love and encourage one another. We do not judge one another."
What a steaming pile of babble-speak. You really ought to re-read article R. from the CrossPoint Church's "Statement of Faith" that I posted above, or are you a cafeteria Christian like so many seem to be these days? It is very explicit in it's condemnation of homosexuality which is, in and of itself, quite judgmental and is precisely the reason why poor Jonathan Merritt is now tearing himself apart over his sexual encounter with Azariah.
He can't let go of the guilt and shame that has been drummed into his head by the Baptist Church he is a member of or reconcile his religious beliefs with his physical needs and desires. That's a living hell that has been imposed on millions of gays. And we have only the Church, who can't mind it's own fucking business and thinks that it has the right to dictate to all of humanity how to live, to thank/blame for that horrible state of affairs.
Supporting, loving and encouraging one another are such lofty-sounding words. I would assume that your definition of supporting would mean helping the "broken" resist the temptations of the flesh and the lifting of gays from a "sinful condition", and loving that person so much, that y'all will continue "encouraging" him to get back on the wagon of righteous and beg for God's forgiveness for having fallen into a sinful condition as Jonathan Merritt did. And only if that person stays on the wagon by maintaining a loveless, sexless existence since LGBT people are not in the least interested in having sexual relations with the opposite sex in most cases. And marrying a member of the opposite sex would be not only a sham, but a lie as well.
Please correct me if I am wrong, because religious double-speak has a tendency to confuse me, muddle my thinking and addle my brain.
So your argument against him is solely based on the fact that you do not understand how a gay person can be a Christian. He's found a way to be Christian just like the rest of us have. We understand we're not perfect, and we're not expected to be. His actions are no worse than mine. We are both sinners on many levels and that's ok. Jay Pearson explains below how he's comfortable practicing Christianity as a gay man. I'm sorry that you're not able to comprehend that.
DeleteAnd your belief that the entire church must be judgmental toward others is based on our belief in the Bible. You seem to think that it is completely impossible for Christians to look past one another's sins and just care about each other. I'm sorry you feel that way. That's not the case. We understand that it is not our place to judge one another. The Bible does not command us to hate all that do not follow the Bible strictly. The message is to love one another just as they are. I understand that there are exceptions to this and there are people who do condemn others based on the Bible. Those examples obviously harm the church and cause the perceptions that you have. I'm hoping you can understand that not everyone is like that.
Supporting, loving and encouraging one another do not come with any strings attached. I'm sure you have friends that do the same for you. There doesn't have to be an agenda involved. That is not religious double-speak.
It's clear that you do not believe in Christianity or the Bible, and I'm not going to continue to debate that with you. That wasn't the intention of my original post. My post was to support Jonathan and to provide a little insight to what I know about him. I'm sure I'll get a lengthy response from you, and go ahead if you're inclined. I'm doubtful my message has gotten through, but somewhere down the line, I hope you meet a Christian person that can help change your views. I also hope you're able to find a way to respect those in the LGBT community that are Christians and have decided to believe in the Bible.
"I'm sure I'll get a lengthy response from you."
DeleteNah. A non-believer arguing with a gay-Christian, which to my way of thinking is an oxymoron, is akin to banging my head on the wall.
Neither one is a pleasurable activity.
I am a Christian...Catholic by denomination...but the central point of Christianity is Christ...who lived and gave one command...on path...on Resurrection Sunday..."AS I have loved you, so too must you love one another"...not judge, condemn, reject others for ANY reason...any one who obeys this command in ACTION not word does the Will of the Father...Christian, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Shintoist, Wiccan, athesist and son on...so you can close your Bibles...stop your thumping. quoting, misquoting...there is nothing else to His message...nothing else to do...but it is so easy to hate...but to love unconditionally...that requires COURAGE !
DeleteFrom: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iWwHh5I9y6g/UBln6ob23fI/AAAAAAABhuI/CqSQ-1ix1GI/s1600/CFAUgandaLarge.jpg
Delete"In 2010, FRC spent $25,000. lobbying US Congress to NOT condemn Uganda's "Kill the gays" bill"
From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council
Statements on homosexuality
The Family Research Council's Senior Researcher for Policy Studies Peter Sprigg was criticized[18] when he, in his official capacity as a fellow of the FRC,[19] stated that gay behavior should be outlawed and that "criminal sanctions against homosexual behavior" should be enforced.[20] More recently, Sprigg has publicly suggested that repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy would encourage molestation of heterosexual service members.[21] When asked about Sprigg's comments regarding the criminalization of same-sex behavior, FRC President Tony Perkins said that criminalizing homosexuality is not a goal of the Family Research Council, but did not denounce Sprigg's statements.[22][23] Perkins repeated the FRC’s association of gay men with pedophilia,[22] saying that "If you look at the American College of Pediatricians, they say the research is overwhelming that homosexuality poses a danger to children." The opinions expressed by Perkins are contradicted by mainstream social science perspectives on same-sex parenting[24] and the likelihood of child molestation by homosexuals,[24][25] and some scientists whose work is cited by the American College of Pediatricians have accused the FRC of distorting and misrepresenting their work.[26]
From: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/11/family-research-council-labeled-hate-group-by-splc-over-anti-gay-rhetoric.php
"Family Research Council Labeled ‘Hate Group’ By SPLC Over Anti-Gay Rhetoric"
With so many fine Christian friends already, why would I want to meet another one to "help me change my views?"
You're really using the Family Research Council to exemplify all Christians?
DeleteMy God, you're as big a bigot as they are.
"You're really using the Family Research Council to exemplify all Christians?"
DeleteThere you go again...making another interpretation.
I did not say or suggest that the Family Research Council exemplified all Christians. YOU and YOU alone, made that interpretation.
What I did suggest is that Organizations like FRC, AFC, Abiding Truth Ministries, Coral Ridge Ministries, American Vision and Christian Anti-Defamation Commission and similar organizations who have been listed by the Souther Law Poverty Center are organizations with Christianity as their cornerstone. Please pay attention.
"My God, you're as big a bigot as they are."
Yes. In the same way what Christofascists call members of the LGBT community Homofascists for defending themselves from the never-ending attacks that emanate from the religious right.
Very disingenuous to be sure.
Chuck, you responded to someone talking about Christianity by showing them that the Family Research Council is a hate group. We're aware. We should all be aware by now, especially if we've been paying attention to this Chick-Fil-A bonanza.
DeleteBut the fact is, none of these groups you're talking about are even Christian denominations. They are groups of Christians, yes, but when you're talking about Christianity and Christians they are NOT what you're talking about. They are not worship groups. They do not have churches.
So, no, you are being completely and honestly and stupidly ignorant. Because *some* people choose to hate the LGBT community. And because *some* of those people are Christian.
Isn't that kind of exactly what we're fighting against?
So, how are you helping us? Becoming the enemy like that?
""My God, you're as big a bigot as they are."
Delete"So, no, you are being completely and honestly and stupidly ignorant."
"Becoming the enemy like that?"
So far as I am aware, I conducted myself as a gentleman during this entire discourse and did not stoop to calling you names, belittling you or calling you ignorant simply because we do not see eye to eye on this issue.
Sorry, but this is where the conversation draws to a close.
Nothing says perfect gentlemen like saying 'I'm going to treat people like shit because they treat other people like shit, but I'm still better than them'.
DeleteYour ideology is as crooked as any demagogue, religious or otherwise.
Azariah, as a gay man I've been in your shoes before. I've also beein in Jonathan Merritt's shoes.
ReplyDeleteI only learned today that you recently "outted" Jonathan Merritt publicly, and I've not yet come to any solid conclusion one way or another as to whether what you did was appropriate or not. Do the means justify the ends? I still need some time to think about this one.
Certainly, though, you could have found a more creative alternative to expressing your issues about JM without sharing so publicly a moment of intimacy that you and he shared privately. Sadly, what is done is done. You unfortunately can't un-ring this bell.
One of the main issues I had with your "Jonathan Merritt: Come Out" post is that you did not outline IN THE POST the specific reasons why you took the action you did. You simply outted him. Period. No context. Had you mentioned the Chick-fil-A matter in your post, it would have given it anchor and depth. Instead you ironically sabotaged your own intent since you were left having to explain your motives after the fact. This leaves readers (such as myself) with the sense that your post was not fully thought out when you published it. It also gives rise to questions about your real motives.
In JM's defense, his piece in The Atlantic -- which was a defense of "Eating At" the food chain without necessarily defending its owner's specific views on gay marriage -- was not anti-gay at all. While it was clear that he didn't consider the conflict of civil rights and religion to be incidental to the Chick-fil-A issue, the substance of what JM wrote was essentially a position piece on economic culture in America.
Not one statement in JM's piece in The Atlantic expressed a single iota of anti-gay sentiment, and it cannot be inferred that he is anti-gay just because he decries boycotting Chick-fil-A. As such, outting him because of his piece in The Atlantic makes no sense at all. However -- and again this goes to whether or not I feel what you did was appropriate -- it's hard to disagree with what you stated in the piece as well as on YouTube: "We must have radical honesty in the character, intentions and identities of our leaders."
Which then begs a question: is JM a leader? How? And says who?
It is necessary to consider whether it was right and/or justifiable for you to assume responsibility for revealing another person's deeply private issue. If JM struggles with the gay issue, it is his struggle. His intimate moment with you would then be part of that struggle. You know (as I also know) how terrifying it is to be conflicted with faith identity and gay identity, especially when your life is very public and the implications of "coming out" are extraordinary. Some of us work out the conflict early. As you did. As I did. For others, it takes much, much longer. And for many different reasons. As MAY be the case with JM. Or may not be. Only JM knows.
I am like you. I had to escape ultra-conservative church culture because I am gay, and I paid a high price for it. For some time I was, like you, agnostic. Yet I am also like JM. Today, I again call myself (and proudly) a Christian, though atypical (thank God). I have chosen to embrace the authentic struggle of faith rather than grasp at the dark emptiness of artificial certainty. One engenders love, the other bitterness. I believe the former is better suited to creating true human Oneness than the latter.
And shouldn't that be our ultimate aim? Oneness?
No matter your motives, you've started a fire of sorts. My hope -- and most certainly my prayer -- is that the impact of what you've done results in healing, transformation, and reconciliation. For you. For Jonathan. For your friends and family. For his friends and family. For all of us.
God bless.
R. JAY PEARSON
Reading, PA
Sorry. I posted the wrong link. This is the one I meant to post.
ReplyDeletehttp://fbcjaxwatchdog.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-thought-i-had-seen-it-allthen-i-saw.html
Dave, So nice to hear from you again. My apologies for having taken awhile to get back to you. Things have been a tad hectic at my place. ;P
ReplyDeleteNot a man to state what I have to say in 25 words or less, I was just informed that a limitation of 4,096 characters of HTML have been imposed on this site...which precludes the lengthy exchanges of dialogue we have shared with each other and which a certain poster who shall remain un-named, felt the need to comment about. :)
Thank you for inviting me to email you. I would have responded via email but, unfortunately, there was no address following the three dots...just empty space. Don't know if it was just an oversight, or an intentional editing by our host?
In any event, allow me to give you my email address which is .
I look forward to hearing from you again.
d u c k m a n 4 4 6 2 5 at y a h o o dot c o m
DeleteWell, Dave, having just posted a short note in response to yours, it appears that not only are we being limited as to the length of our post, we are also being censored from exchanging our email addresses as well as you will note from the comment I just published.
ReplyDeleteChristian love spilleth over.
ReplyDeleteBobN says:Today, 12:17:43
"A Christian perspective ultimately brought the death penalty upon homosexuality between roughly 350 AD and roughly 1850 or so, for about 1,500 years that form of life had pretty much been eliminated except here and there, it was in the closet, but it was almost unheard of for over 1,000 years, until recently."
Finally, an anti-gay Christian tells it like it was.
That he seems proud of 1500 years of killing people is refreshingly honest.
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/07/death-to-homo-lover-kermit-frog.html
Chuck...actually, the early Church had "bonding rituals" for same sex couples who pledged love for one another in this life until death...no mention of conjugal rights but clearly acknowledged the traditions of the times. In the Canon of the Catholic Mass (prior to Vatican II) these couples are mentioned: Sts. Perpetua & Felicity, Sts. Cosmos & Damien (close friends of St. Sebastian - all 3 Roman Centurions - Christians) - St. Aelrod of England wrote glowingly of the love between two same sex persons. But as you pointed out the "Christian" homophobic fathers took over and that was that. As to hiding our e-mail addresses: duck man 4 4 6 2 5 at ya ho o dot co m I really hate censorship. In our Catholic Church Friday, my partner (organist) played for an anniversary Mass (18 years together) for two partnered woman over whose commitment our priest (great shepherd) prayed and bestowed a beautiful blessing concerning love for one another. After all, none of us is defined by our orientation...we are persons who are gay...it is about relationships - something mainstream religions fail to grasp.
DeleteI'm a Presbyterian, PC(USA,) and our church has been arguing about the nature of same sex attraction for going on 40 years now... year after year after year. It has been often observed that some Presbyterian "ex-gays" would testify before a committee of the General Assembly in the afternoon about how the Gospel had transformed their desires and their lives and then be seen in a gay bar that evening. Those people needed to be outed because they were presenting their "personal life" as an argument for a particular point of view (that sexuality is maleable) and as an example for how others might/should behave. The only way to refute that "argument" is to expose it for the lie that it is.
ReplyDeleteIs Mr. Merrit arguing that homosexuality is immoral and "controllable" or "changeable" and then living a different and contradictory reality? Then that is dishonest and needs to be exposed for the lie that it is.
This is different than finding out a truth about someone who is just trying to live quietly and which for reasons of their own are holding close to his or her own heart.
Outing a "religious person" ? Is that more wrong that outing an atheist or non-religious person ? You seem to draw a distinction between the two which is irrational. "Outing" a person who chooses to remain private concerning his/her private life is quite different than "outing" a person who is gay and snipes, denigrates other gay persons. The former is honest yet closeted. No one needs to open their private life to public scrutiny. However, a person who condemns - publicly - a way of life, an orientation - which they themselves follow fails to be a "religious" person or better term - a person of "faith. Faith and all religions (include here non-theists who believe in the goodness of humanity) seek truth - reject all lies and deceit.
ReplyDeleteIt is, however, so very unfortunate that so called Christians believe they speak for God when in truth they speak out their own fears, biases, ignorance. NO PERSON BORN CAN COMPREHEND the mind of God. Scripture even attests to this. While I accept that the Bible is divinely inspired - it is flawed because it has to use human language to capture divine inspirations. further our interpretation can not be locked in the past understandings of earlier peoples. There are many things which were not fully understood that have become known - unrevealed that have been revealed. Our understanding continues to evolve and becomes more honed. Further, the Bible is not a guide to every situation which must be considered as being virtuous or not. It is, for believers, a story of the Divine trying to open up our minds to come to better knowledge of Him. It certainly was not meant to be used as an instrument of judgement, condemnation. The unfortunate offspring of the Bible - "organized religion" is man made for cohesion, association - but it has become an instrument of exclusion and horrible acts - an institution of mind control, perversion, and in some instances hatred. I am not pointing the finger at any one group - all have failed the "glory of God". The Dalai Lama in "Beyond Religion" proposes removing "God Centered Moral Systems" in society, replacing it with a "Humanistic Centered" model with the two basic principles of ALL religions: first - all persons desire and deserve a happy, joy-filled life and second, do no harm to others and receive no harm. Very simple but oh, so difficult. Think about its application to the Merrit/Azariah debacle witnessed here.
ReplyDeleteHE. HAD. IT. COMING.
ReplyDeleteWhere can I join the Chuck fan club? You're awesome Chuck :)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever written any books, Chuck? I would love to read them.
My view on this basically mirrors what a previous poster, Rex, said:
"Normally Im not for outing..UNLESS, that person is Working to/or with others that want to TAKE away RIGHTS from the LGBT community..if thats happening then - all bets are off - OUT THE MF'r!"
Thank you for the kind words otoniel.
ReplyDeleteFrom time to time, a few of my friends have suggested that I write a book since I tend to be quite verbal and outspoken on a number of issues and especially those that concern civil rights for the LGBT community.
I have thought about doing so on occasion, but I tend to get quite passionate on the latter and am of the feeling that it might just end-up being a rant. LOL
Truth be known, I think that I prefer the spontaneity of writing on blog sites that are more in the moment.
You are clearly young and idealistic; you need some age on you to understand that it isn't your "right" to correct everything you see as a "wrong." There may have been many reasons that your friend chose to hide his sexual orientation -- maybe a grandmother who would have been devastated, for example. It's always a bit too easy to pass judgement on others while claiming to be revealing an important truth.
ReplyDeleteIf he were advocating violence against homosexuals, by all means out him. But he wasn't, and while his message was harmful, he deserved a chance to decide for himself what he wished to make public and what he didn't.
Don't beat yourself up, just accept that you screwed up and move on. Apologize, accept what's been done and try to do better.
I think that it (rightly) bugged you that Merritt was speaking out in support of CFA because of what you knew about him. But outing him? I'm not sure this was the right thing to do. It's a shame that Merritt feels he cannot be whatever he wants to be because of religious chains, but telling the public about his sexuality is not your call to make. It's not anyone's call but his. And the supposed regret that you wished you'd have talked to him about it first before doing it anyway? That's called blackmail, both literally and emotionally. If he is the well-intentioned person as you say he is, he would out himself eventually.
ReplyDeleteRon Sanders and Carisa, you might like to read the interview that Azariah had with Salon.com.
ReplyDeleteIt will give you a much clearer picture of what actually happened and why Azariah opted to out Jonathan.
http://www.salon.com/2012/08/12/why_i_outed_a_christian_star_2/
I agree that hypocrisy should be exposed, in this case, or political affairs and such. But I am a bit confused and have a question. It is not a 'bait' question to stir the pot but one from someone not well-informed...me.
ReplyDeleteWhat if there is someone who has lived a gay lifestyle but falls for the opposite sex, becomes right wing in his/her thinking but is still blogging against what he believes and is concerned with being outed the other direction as straight. Would you out that person? Perhaps I am straining here and perhaps this really doesn't happen...just curious, though.
When you are a public figure, taking a public stand, you greatly diminish you privacy rights. This was not simply an "outing," it was the public expose of public hypocrisy. He was not being punished for being gay, PERIOD. He was being called on the carpet for standing against something with his words, while his actions proved the opposite. To say you can expose hypocrisy in other areas, but "don't do that to a gay man" is itself hypocrisy.
ReplyDelete@jeremy:
ReplyDeleteI AM a gay man who fell in love with, and am now genuinely attracted to, a woman.
[We love who we love.]
If I take any public stand on a related issue, I had damn well better not hide anything related to that position.
@lifewalkblog
ReplyDeleteUnderstood and much appreciated answer.
I don't talk to my gay friends much about it but some say it is nature, others nurture, and more are confused with bisexuals as they say both nature/nuture/confused whatever. (I don't want to generalize my various friends' views...) But I am derailing this post. I will read more up on it. I emailed my buddy this link and look forward to conversation on it. I am a Christian but don't lean toward the right in this area but do in other areas. Been saving up for John Bowsell's theological history so I can get some solid academia on it. (Sorry to all others for this tangent.I think about this stuff a lot and it hurts me to see people treated unfairly.)
Almost every culture on earth has an expression equivalent to "People who live in glass houses should not throw stones." It shows that no matter what our culture or religion, hypocrisy is not acceptable. So many of Jesus' conflicts with the powers of his day concerned hypocrisy. And religious people, holding up such a high standard, are clearly a "higher-risk" group. People in government and other positions of power are quite similar in that respect.
ReplyDeletePeople of this type would love nothing better than to be somehow exempt from this rule of life, and throughout history religious clergy and others in positions of power have done much to isolate and protect themselves from public scrutiny. But in the end, the glass houses rule holds true.
Public hypocrites are fair game, always. If you'd outed someone who is not a public hypocrite then you'd be an ass, but outing public hypocrites is a public service. Don't lose any more sleep over this. Jonathan Merritt's evangelism, and the anti-gay posturing that go along with evangelical christianity, are destructive forces in our society. Exposing the hypocrisy of such a person, while uncomfortable for them, is a service to every gay or lesbian or bi or trans kid who is injured by people Merritt with their theocratic hatefulness. I say, good work.
ReplyDeleteDon't for one second feel bad about "outing" Merritt. Why should you be an accomplice in hiding his life when you have so solidly embraced honesty in your own life? Move on. Best wishes. Your gay "uncle" cause I'm too old to be your brother.
ReplyDeleteI've some experience in evangelical circles, having graduated from Oral Roberts University and witnessed first-hand so many stellar prophets telling everybody and anybody who would listen what "God's voice" happened to tell them that day.
ReplyDeleteWith rare exception, the evangelical community condemns us and everything about us. They don't care about job discrimination, workplace violence, or certainly marriage equality which would provide spousal health, tax, retirement and death benefits. They use self-soothing (hypocritical) blather about "loving the sinner, but hating the sin." (A notable exception is Oral Roberts' grandson, Randy Roberts Potts, who is a minister in Texas -- and gay).
Theological dogma is spewed from pulpits and around the world on television and across the Internet by people who are usually given a higher degree of respect and deference than is ever due. Hundreds of listeners draw thousands, which draw millions; they give a lot of money to fund causes that literally pose existential threats to our community. Their rhetoric becomes public policy, reality be damned. Yet, reality is our best defense.
You've heard the expression, "reality bites." Sure... but it must win. From my experience, collateral damage resulting from truth, honesty and reality is far less than that caused by continual bashing based on lies and fantasy-based hope, no matter that it be drowned in love! I wouldn't feel conflicted. Bringing the light of reality to this fellow saved more lives than he ever did or could.
Bravo! Well said, William Cooke.
DeleteRe: William Cooke...you make a sound, valid point. If a person speaks openly with "forked tongue" to borrow the expression from our Native American friends, condemning what they themselves practice, it brings real harm to gay persons and society in general. If Jonathan was the Christian he claims to be (and I reserve this title for persons who do not preach/parrot the words of Christ but LIVE the life of non-condemnation, acceptance, love that he did) he would clearly recognize the very hypocrisy which Christ hated - and know he is far from Christian. so, in this context Jonathan made himself an open target for exposure.It is very interesting to note that there is so much hatred by so many people for gays, yet if questioned, I would propose that few have ever really known a gay man or woman. They are identical to straight persons in their hopes, fears, dreams, etc. as well as contributing to the welfare of all. Yet, like the Jews of Europe, they are condemned and vilified - blamed for many things merely because their pastors spew forth this vomit. Organized religion IS the root of the hatred. This is not to say that all clergy are so hateful - for there are good souls who realize the falseness of these religious spoutings. But the loudmouths get the most attention and the mindless masses follow like blind sheep.
ReplyDeleteOh people--your bible stories are amusing and you slice and dice them to get the sound bite to fit your opinion. Organized religions and "gods" are the cause of so many wars and for justifying hatred. But I digress....
ReplyDeleteIf you are gay or straight, it's topic for conversation. We are in the age of instant celebrity and with Facebook, Youtube and cell phones with cameras, nothing is private. Public people are no less 'public' than your average mall-goer. Yes, there is an expectation of privacy, but the reality is different.
Therefore, do as mama said - don't lie or behave in private in a way that you have to defend if it is made public.
LOVE the way Jonathan handled this. He sounds like a good man who loves the Lord and will be so incredibly honored (maybe now, maybe in Heaven.... maybe both) for the way he's handled himself in all of this. Was it right, was it wrong to "out" him??? What's the point in that debate? Either way, it doesn't matter. What's done is done and I'm now Jonathan Merritt follower because of it all. He made a mistake, like we've all done. He STILL sees Truth, he STILL lives by it (even though he may deal with temptation as we ALL do), and He STILL lives for the Lord. He's given God the glory. Awesome. Thanks for drawing my attention to him.
ReplyDeleteSocial media is not maturing, marketers are just getting lazy in their application of it.
ReplyDeletesic code
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